I woke up this morning with a cold sweat and the thought of my deepest worst darkest fear. Yes, I've been carrying it for months now without having the courage to share this even to the closest person I've been with cause this fear includes that person. It sickens me not having to share with this person the burden I feel inside my chest every time I think about the future. I just wish this person would one day wake up with the power of telepathy so that words wouldn't be necessary. Or maybe when I tell this to this person, this person would just listen and the quiet would magically put things to how I want them to be.
Thursday, November 4, 2010 ★
I hate conformity. But at the same time I wouldn't want to hate conformity. I know, I'm struggling between what I feel and what I should want to feel.